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Those damned delinquents on my lawn, 
distracting me from eating corn
and making toast and drinking tea,
they’re having much more fun than me,
the godforsaken demon spawn.

All through the night, until the dawn
they fornicate while watching porn
and they won’t even let me see,
those damned delinquents!

My wife is dead and now I mourn,
my penis shrivelled like a thorn –
gone are the days when I was free,
so to the young I make my plea:
enjoy your youth before it’s gone,
you damned delinquents.

-- class collaboration, November 2013.

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