You say you have a headache?  Tell me, sir,

is it behind your eyes, or from your neck?
Does it cause double vision, or a blur?
Just let me get my shinyscope to check –

I need to have a look inside your brain

and make sure it’s not full of Facebook crap

or Twitteration.  That stuff causes pain

of such extremes – now, mind the light, old chap,

it’s brighter than you’re used to.  Ah, I see,

there’s swelling on your liking node.  That’s bad.

It leads to bouts of gullibility,

but never mind, just click that banner ad.

You’ll soon be cured with this placebo pill –

it’s only affluenza.  Here’s your bill.