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Leda and the Swan

I really want to get it on

in different ways.  My husband bores

me – look at that enormous swan

Oh! bless my wringing underdrawers!


Tyndareos is king, it’s true,

but when he comes to claim his right

he does as peasant men might do,

a chore: in, out and then goodnight.


But this!  a feathered god! a beast!

with thrusting neck and muscled breast

has burst into my room and greased

my loins with fire. O welcome guest!


Whatever will the gossips say?

Their wicked tongues will paint me loose

and twisted.  Well, my woodland lay,

I’ll tell them all that you were Zeus.

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