Things that should disqualify anyone from running for public office
December 29, 2015
1. Having assets in wife's/ husband's/ children's names as a tax dodge.
2. Insisting on a driver when he/she is perfectly capable of driving him/herself.
3. Demanding an expense account to take the family to meetings overseas that could easily have been a 20-minute Skype instead.
4. Claiming rent allowance for staying in the house owned by your wife (also, see #1).
5. Wobbly jowls.
6. Having never known what it's like to be down to your last $20 with a week until pay day and having to feed your family.
7. Calling people who are down to their last $20 "lazy" but still insisting that cutting penalty rates will stimulate the economy.
8. Suggesting a GST on fresh foods while encouraging imports from China just to make sure that local farmers feel especially cared for.
9. Taking the last $20 off people to pay for disaster relief because the disaster relief fun you set up with the last lot of taxes was siphoned off elsewhere when the disasters failed to materialise within your designated time frame.
10. Stupid hair.
11. Believing that rich folk are better educated because they're genetically superior, and trying to prove it by ensuring that no poor people ever make it through tertiary education.
12. Being in public office right now.
13. Wanting to be in public office.
14. Owning a watch worth more than $2000.
15. Forgetting that you are a servant of the people -- not of the Woolworths/Coles duopoly, not of the banks, not of the oil companies, not of BHP Billiton and not of the churches. Me. Mrs Davis down the road. One legged Ned from Toongabbie. All the children whose future you're ignoring while you concentrate on making your present as comfortable as possible. The public. You pompous, arrogant, self-centred git.